It is true that you make your own destiny. I mean, if your back hurts a little, you shouldn’t keep doing the things you do every day because you are just gonna make it worse; but if you don’t, whose gonna feed your kids? They need to eat. When you were single, you could sit on the couch with an ice pack or lay in bed all day after calling in sick to work, but you can’t do that when you have kids. Yes, you can call your mom or your mother in law who conveniently don’t work but you can’t do that every day. Firstly because you don’t want to bother them, especially your mother who lives 20 min away and has other grand kids to worry about, secondly because you don’t want to show your weakness to your mother in law who is probably thinking that she didn’t have a mother in law to come running to her if she broke her back or that back in the old days she carried a donkey on her back while picking chicoria and never complained and thirdly because it makes you feel like less of a mother for having to bring in a third party. So you keep doing things, even though you shouldn’t and your husband cannot afford to stay home a week for you. Plus he remembers the torture he went through last time you hurt your back and he had to do everything you normally do or at least try to. So you feel bad. How could You do this to him again?????? (That was sarcasm) but I realized that there’s a down side to trying to be a hero besides hurting yourself more. No one puts you in the papers for crawling to the cupboard with tears in your eyes trying get out your sons uniform. The thing is, it’s not your husbands fault that he’s wondering why you are not helping him put the groceries away as he is rushing to get to work. You are not lying on the couch with an ice pack or in bed like a sick or hurt person should be. So of course you can’t be hurt that bad!!!! At least not in comparison to anything he’s ever experienced. Because he lays in bed all day if he’s in that condition. I’m not saying my husband doesn’t care. He did help me every time I asked for it as I was hurt. He did everything he could while he was home. What I’m saying is, they don’t realize that we don’t get to take care of ourselves when we are sick or hurt. We have children to worry about that are well worth the pain. So ladies. My advice. If you are hurt or sick, don’t be a hero. Take the time you need to heal or your husband will not get the depth of pain you are in because all they have to compare it to is how they are when they are out of commission. It’s not their fault you are not acting like a sick person. How would they know?? Makes sense, doesn’t it?